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Last login: 6 hours agoMazadan: peter is a 51 year old single guy from Maidstone, England, UK.; Likes 143 pages, 10 videos, 2 photos • 10 fans • Received 4 reviews; Member since Oct 17, 2006

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10:50am: Accept me, my lord, accept me for this while.

Let those orphaned days that passed without thee be forgotten.

Only spread this little moment wide across thy lap, holding it under thy light.

I have wandered in pursuit of voices that drew me yet led me nowhere.

Now let me sit in peace and listen to thy words in the soul of my silence.

Do not turn away thy face from my heart's dark secrets, but burn them till they are alight with thy fire.

Jul 3, 9:06am: For five out of seven days I sit here having a days work behind me. But I come home and I feel let down by something, I am not quite sure what it is though I have a feeling it is the work in it self.

My job or at least the one I trained to do is very creative, and I would say that I am at heart a creative and spiritual person. And there lies the rub I think for I work with people that do not have soul, they sadly have no pride in what they do or for that matter any real respect for the job and the people they serve.

And those people are our customers but also they are also our selves for even as we are employees we are also customers.
And each person is but a mirror of our selves. If we take to not liking them for some reason what is it we don't not like in ourselves.

And I feel as well the work we do especially in the bakery where we still make a product from almost scratch start is a mirror upon us and our attitude to people and life in general.
(Now time for a trombone solo) even though I do not like the way we have to make the bread I try to make the best possible bread I can given the quality of ingredients and production methods. For I feel and I have always felt like this if I would not buy how could I expect some one else to? The odd fact is I do my grain staple is Rye in the form of crisp breads and 100% oatcakes.

I love making bread I mean real proper bread that has flavour and such for a good many years I did I had my own bakery and nothing was to much trouble to make so I did not make nothing lol.

But I made good bread so good it got into the food pages of the times.
There was joy in making it the making of the dough long process and sour doughs letting mature over a number of hours sometimes as many as 12.
And then the meditation takes over to me it was meditation.
I took the dough hand divided it into the respective weights and manipulated with my hands the only machine was a mixer.
Fashioned it into a shape and while doing so I would put that magical ingredient into each piece TLC it poured from my soul through the fingers into each piece of bread made and for that matter all the cakes and the few pies as well.

Every thing was a creation and I was its god in away. For from the time of its creation the combining of the ingredients in a mixer till its demise as a living thing whe it is popped into the oven it is alive it has life, and then we kill it but deep within its cells there is the TLC I put in and that carries through.
And try as I might I just cannot get enough TLC in the bread I make today it is sooooooooooooooooo rushed, fast food for an ever fast society.

Also it is quite tasteless as well but then I feel most food has gotten that way now.
All we have is pride in what we make and that is sadly laking in the people I happen to work with.
Maybe a system of pay that would work would be a share of sales instead of a fixed weekly wage. Once all the overheads have been paid then what is left is shared out I wonder if it would make for a better product and for that matter a complete range being made as well.

For the better it looked the more hopefully we would sell and the more money we would take home.
At heart I am creative and I think that in its way is the problem for making bread has always been more than just work.

I have other things I craft and in a way the soul can be partially satisfied.

So this days draws to a close out side one of the blackbirds is stressed for a cat is on the prowl there are two breeding pairs on either side of the garden.
It is midsummer and every thing is just so full the trees are fit to burst and everything is full of life and spirit.
And my cup is empty lol so time for some Rose Pouchong tea and then settle for the evening.
Blessings to all and peace.
Blessed be , peter XXXXX

Jul 2, 9:16am: Here I sit looking out at the rain falling a welcome cool down after a hot night and humid day.
It was one of those wake up wet nights. And no doubt the weather chickens will be there clucking away on how this is a typical summer etc.
It is so wonderful to see the rain fall the little drumming sounds it makes as each drop hits a leaf, roof etc.
The roofs of houses and sheds become mirror like. This is perfect for standing out sound naked the rain washing over you taking away with it all the cares and troubles of the world that always seem to settle one ones shoulders if we are not careful.
Looking out over the road I see people seeking shelter. I enjoy it for this rain, these small drops of water falling from overloaded clouds are more precious than all the gold and diamonds in the world.

We live a strange life really there is always this rush for a shiny yellow metal it is nothing really but a lump, useful for electronics. And yet people will kill for its possession and suffer fever when seeking it out.

And yet water is so much more useful it helps feed us keeps hydrated and alive.
Though one thing has always puzzled me is why does it put out fires when you consider it is a combination of two elements that are explosive lets say in the singular state well Hydrogen is and oxygen helps the fire along.

We value odd things, we value a painting of a rustic scene and yet the trees and such that have `modelled' for said picture we seek to chop down and build upon in the name of progress and yet nature is the precious commodity.
And the earth a precious thing we are raping and destroying.

When I look about me at all the things man made in my place and out there in the world I never forget it originally comes from the earth. Unless of course you have something made from a meteorite lol.
We take it all for granted really.
From the air we breathe to the water we drink, we turn the tap on and hey presto! Water it is only when the system fails that we start to realise how precious it is but when it goes back to normal we soon forget.

You cannot put any price upon life, nature is priceless we try but in our hubris we will fail and suffer the consequences.

We Homo sapiens aint as clever as we think we are for is we were the world would not be so screwed at the moment.

And now it has stopped raining and the roses in the garden have a new brightness about them and all looks verdant and vibrant........

Be well and blessings to all.
Blessed be , peter XXXXX

Jul 1, 8:21am: Ten Rules for Being Human

1. You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.
2. You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."
3. There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."
4. Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.
5. Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.
6. "There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here."
7. Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
8. What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.
9. Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.
10. You will forget all this.

Jun 30, 9:29am: Life can be pretty odd at times and other time sit is just plain normal.
I have been blogging I suppose for a few years now and it is a great way to make a few friends and also I feel in its way is better than a personal ad.
For those are difficult to write at the best of times.
Often when I have looked at a few they have been of the list variety, nothing wrong in that but often they are not engaging.

There is one site where I am quite amazed that any one ever gets a reply to their ads but they do. Often citing that a pic is needed but often theirs is one of a body part I am not talking dangly bits but legs or very strange looking head shots. But they will not reply to you if your pic is not say normal type.

And many have never even changed their profile in years I normally change mine every six months or so not a heavy change but things in life shift. Hobbies shift and things change.

I do often wonder what we all are seeking. Some of us just seek play partners other a little fling on the side, some are dipping their toe in uncharted waters wondering if this or that is for them.
And many like my self seek that certain someone they will share life with the spicy as well as vanilla side.
I still sort of seek but well not to hard to many emails sent out and to few replies.
I feel I am just a little to independent of thought well my drum pattern is not the one every one else seems to be playing lol.

It did occur to me while loading bread and such into the oven at work today that is has been some three years now since I had what one could term a date. But then I never dated much as it happens the whole courting thing has always been a stranger to me I suppose I have been lucky in that the three ladies who I have had serious relationships with have took the lead.
And the two I met in between whiles also took the lead.

I have often heard the phrase that there is `some one for every one' this I have found not to be totally true. It gives one hope that there is someone out there but I will often question it. It is more often than not said by those that have never really been single for any length of time.
As I have spent most of my adult life single I am used to it.
I do enjoy some of the freedoms like going to bed when I choose and just upping and going out when I choose but there is so much I miss as well.
Those long cuddles in the night or day time and of course sex but after a while I wonder if that was all it was cracked up to be,
many talk of their antics or allude to them but often I think tis but an idle boast so as one does not feel left out.

I often wonder how much this being single is a part of modern society and was there such things in ancient times? It would be interesting to find out and I wonder how they dealt with it. For now we have so many sites dealing with coupling up in some form but back then one went to see a matchmaker and even today they still exist.
And I suppose dating site fulfil that function, though when I have used them in the past it was with little success.
But well now I am just sanguine about it all.
I often wonder if this love thing is an illusion something put there to stress us.
Who knows?

Well I need a brew and to settle watch the birdies pig out on the seed I put out for them and also watch the wasps go to and fro from their little paper home and enjoy this late evening sunshine.

Blessings and be well all.
Blessed be, peter XXXXX

Jun 29, 9:28am: Upon the cd player is Waterson Carthy and there by a thought occurs to me as it often does about music in particular the stuff we call folk.
Many rubbish this genre of music, it is unfounded for if you listen to it there are wonderful stories.
Sadly it does have an image problem that of a person in an Arran jumper with hand cupped over ear nothing could be farther from the truth.

The tunes are very good and just require a little imagination to bring the to a new audience. One only has to think of Thin Lizzy and the song `Whiskey in the jar'

Thankfully there are many young people who play traditional music and add their own spice to it.
I often wonder at those who penned the songs in the first place not the know authors but the unknowns who wrote about the Napoleonic wars and the meaning of life rare and quite bawdy songs as well the song collectors of the late 19th century did try to `clean' them up but they slipped through thankfully for they were a way in some case to show the facts of life.

Music is so very important in life and it has been there since the dawn of time and probably before.
We can ALL sing let no one tell you other wise we only have to find our voice.
It is only in the so called civilised world that people have been told they cannot sing.

In African society if you can breath you can sing. And I believe this to be so.
And we have in each of a song I have discovered this a few times but the most profound was in the sweat lodge attended last year I just started to sing well more hum tunes from the heart in a way they were prayers.

Many times we stifle music making much to my nieces chagrin I will let her little ones blast away on my time whistles, and we put them down saying they are not like so and so.
But every one has to first pick up an instrument or put a note down on paper.
Once I could not bake bread but well lol.

And there is in life music all around really from the rustling of the trees and the burbling of a brook through to the sweet song of the skylark.
Even the heart beats out rhythm shows us we're still alive.
There is music all around all one has to do is stop and listen a while to the songs of the earth, and who know what it will inspire in you.

Blessings to all on this fine day.
Blessed be, peter XXXXX

Jun 28, 9:48am: I have just awoken from an afternoon doze. Well I was up at my usual time of 01:30 hours. Most days even when I am off I am awake then, though on days off I will have a lay in till around 02:30.
Though I do not believe in the adage about `early to bed and early to rise' it is just that is what I am used to.

There is a quiet at the early part of the day that I have always loved, even as a small boy the early dawn and the quiet of that time of day was always special for me.
When I walk to work and even if I am out just walking getting out there in the world at that time is natural for me.
I do see things that few see as well, urban foxes and the nocturnal wild life we have and also shooting stars after midnight till the dawning of the day is normally the best time to see these mostly because the way the earth turns makes for better conditions.

There is a bus stop and this time of year when I walk into work I some times stop there and sit for a moment for to the north east the sun rises and at around 03:30 the sky is a band of up lit blue across the horizon and with luck a few wisps of cloud to add depth to it all.

Often people will wax lyrical about the setting sun and the onset of night but the rising sun is just as beautiful and to stand atop a small valley at the start of the day and as the sun rises you see a place filled with mist almost a sea or lake of mist and you stand there expectant of some mythical beast to arise from the deeps and bid thee good morning.
But soon the sun awakes and burns off this mystical sea and reveals often a verdant landscape just as wonderful and no less mystical.

We have los many tales of our landscape in our efforts to become "civilised" and thereby we have something of our selves as well in the process a little piece, well I think a big piece of our soul.
I suppose for me that time of day the early quiet does help me at least to reconnect with the earth.

And in our ever so busy lives I think we should take time out every day for a while and stand bare foot upon some patch of ground and just for a while let the world slow down and let our selves just `be' for a little while.

For me it will always be the dawning and the deep part of the late night when I can reconnect for others it will be different times.

I love the dawn always will so peaceful.
So on that I will bid you all blessings, peace, love and light.
Blessed be, peter XXXXX

Jun 27, 8:57am: A chill type day today played plenty of WoW , and getting quite into it.
One or two bits are a little irksome but that is the nature of the game would get quite boring if there was no challenge as such.

And enjoyed the nice day we had as well I did fancy a trip out but thought better of it had a hat band to finish off and need to start a new one for a friend in Devon.
Also a few panels for my drum case.

I find the bead weaving in particular quite meditative I normally have some quiet music playing as well and the mind then just drifts but is also focused upon the pattern.
When the mind wanders, well I need to let it out for some exercise lol
I often think of those who started all the weaving say, or whittling and how much is passed down from generation to generation.

Though at one time there had to be the one person who made an original piece a never before made beaded work, tune or carving.
I have only ever composed one tune out of my head and onto paper and it is a bugger to play full of triplets but it sounds nice lol.

And much creative stuff is wonderful often people will poo, poo something because it is not to their taste often forgetting that there originality of thought there.
I see art work and hear music that may not be to my taste but I never dismiss it for it is someone's creation and taken thought and skill to make.

Well any way I have plenty of reading and some beading to fill time now lets hope I get a positive answer about my hours reduction at work. I personally cant see any problem and if the answer is a no I will just seek a job else where and if the answer is yes I will be one happy chappie.

Be well and sweet blessings to all.
Blessed be, peter XXXXX

Jun 26, 11:19am: It has been a warm day well quite hot really but nice not a sticky hot thankfully.
A trip up to town namely London. To seek out some beads and bits and also a few books.

Well the day did go well had me Chinese meal always seem to when I trip to London, and also to Foyles.
Found one or two books that well I just had top buy lol.
Some were on shamanism oddly a word I have difficulty with nowadays the word I it self is not the problem just the way it seems to be banded about to cover traditions that are not from the Siberian tundra.
Though around the world all the traditions are similar in outlook and are animistic.

But more of the trip London in itself seems a cleaner place compared to when I lived there. But there is still hustle and bustle from a myriad of different people from around the world.
A veritable melting pot really of different cultures each adding a little to the cultural stew.

For how ever we think of culture it is a thing that changes with time and is like a really each generation adds to the pot.
In many ways much of the British culture has been imported take tea for instance the bush itself does not grow here it is from originally South East Asia. And at the start of empire we brought it back here.

Also our language is a result of this intermixing through out the world we use the word pyjama for instance this is an Punjabi word for a type of loose leggings.
So our culture is an ever-expanding thing.

And is never fixed we borrow from some cultures and they borrow from us it has in the past made for a great diversity though I do feel in some cases it does homogenise us in to some blandness mostly the McDonalds or Disney culture type of thing. Disney in particular take a story and sort of sanitise it which is a shame because often the stories they tell originally had some meaning to the journey of life lessons if you like.

Many I work with sadly berate the people who have often given up a lot to work here from across the waters of the world. Without first looking at the mirror and asking who they are and where they have come from.

For me I was born and brought up in Kent but really I am just a `earth person' the world is my home.

A trip to somewhere always gives me time to think about this little blue green spheroid floating in space. And trips to towns and cities have me thinking about my fellow travellers.

Blessings to all beings and peace on this fine day.
Blessed be, peter XXXXX

Jun 25, 9:47am: A warm lovely day worked for the best part of it. But the mind is a great thing and while working on the mundane I can at least wander the byways of the world in my mind.
And what a world it is a wonderful place.

I was involved in a discussion at work on the youth of today and how apparently they are just a bunch of bad mannered oiks.
I pointed out that it has always been so as one gets older the days of our youth are the best and today's children are trouble or at least the media would have you think so.

It was the same in mid Victorian Britain the then youth were looked on with some trepidation as they hung around street corners.
But look at the young ones today they are not so different from us when we were young.
Just always looking back we often see only the good points and not the bad that seems to slip through the sieve of memory.

Many who complain about today's young ones often take their lead from the tabloid newspapers whereas I look at what is around me.

I have out side my window a wasp nest and the little beasties do not bother me.
When I mentioned this at work it was why don't you get rid of it sort of advice though I did not ask for the advice lol.
It is the assumption that just because they have a sting they are on the attack all the time but like us they just want to survive the natural life span.

And I feel many liken the young people of today to wasps, something to be dispersed at every opportunity.
And really every thing has is function on this planet with the exception of career politicians.

We I feel should stop the demonising of today's youth for they are no better or worse than we were.

And like us they will grow older become adults and grumpy old people, and no doubt they will look back and say" when I was younger we were never as bad as this".

When I was a lad I was always good (and if I were Pinocchio the nose would have grown at least six feet lol).....

I was often grounded due to various things though normally relieving the local farmers of apples pears and other fruits with out their knowledge.

I just wish the media would report more the good things the young ones do, but then good new don't sell does it.

Well I have a gooseberry crumble to scoff and some tea to wash it down quite yummy as well mmmmmmm.....
Blessings to all, peace love and lots of light .
Blessed be , peter XXXXX

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